Read Part 1: The Engagement story here
Fast forward to a couple of weeks about mid November, a few wedding plans have gone under way (but major plans like date/place had not gone well) which I know now was by the grace of God. If we had booked something then (we were planning for August of 2012) we would’ve been stuck waiting until after the baby or losing a lot of deposit money.
My monthly visitor had been coming but hadn’t been normal so when she didn’t come, I really didn’t think it was anything. I figured it had been off the past couple months, there’s probably just something going on with my body. I hadn’t been sick, I had been having my period but I took a test anyway just to rule out that factor. So there I was in my apartment, alone, taking a pregnancy test that I knew would be negative and it wasn’t. Insert immediate freak out. Actually to say I freaked out, would be an understatement, I flipped the F out. I took 2 more tests to be sure aaaand sure enough, I was knocked up. Brad came over and was a god send, he was so calm (in fact, I am still waiting for him to freak out) but none of it felt real, I’ve always heard that women just “know” when they get pregnant but I had none of those feelings!
The next week we went to the doctor and told her I thought I was about 6 weeks, *remember I had been having my period
She starts the ultrasound and says to me “umm you’re a little farther along than that” and up on the screen pops an actual BABY, not a tiny little spec that you can’t tell what is what, there on the screen was a head and arms and legs and a BABY. as I stare in shock the doctor says to us “you are 15 weeks and your due date is April 30”.
Here I was sitting there and was not only finding out we really were pregnant, but not only that, I was already past my first trimester. I was due in APRIL. I hadn’t even moved into Brad’s house yet. W. T. F.
I will say, hearing the heartbeat was so beautiful, it brought us both to tears, but I was overcome with so many emotions that day.
what are we going to do?…. should we still get married, or wait until after?
if we do get married, will I look like so fat? ….. I can’t drink until April?
all these questions and many more were flooding my brain…
I know these are really superficial thoughts to have but I am being completely honest. I, like any other female had planned my wedding since I was a little girl and I had never thought I’d be pregnant while planning this dream wedding. or sober during my bachelorette party, but I remembered these were my plans I was referring to, not HIS. I urged myself to remember that He has the perfect plan, not me! A few people tried to convince me to wait until after the baby was born, and that I couldn’t pull off a wedding in a matter of a few months but I just couldn’t see after my priorities had changed so much with a baby, wanting to have bridal showers, a bachelorette party and honeymoon but I didn’t want to sacrifice those important things either….. so after talking to Brad and our families… my dream wedding was what I was going to plan, and did I ever!